chelsea cookIn a normal year, whatever that is, most people I know are beginning to firm up their plans for summer travel. Not so much this year. Probably not so much this year. In this part of the country our weather has been so strange one has to wonder who is in charge of the weather. Those talking suits on TV are not taking any blame at all and some of us conspiracy theorist are fairly well convinced they should accept the blame. After all, they are the ones with all that electronic equipment.
But, having said that, there is another, and more credible theory, for those of us who believe as our favorite Senator believes, the government is responsible for this strange weather. After all, he is chairman of the Senate Science Committee so he should know. Being just a small peon in this larger game of living, I cannot testify about anything except something is happening. One small thing does bother me though, about this theory, is that the Senator is part of the government but he doesn’t accept any blame for anything. Man, I wish that had been the way it worked when I was in geometry class in high school.
And that is another thing we conspiracy theorist are getting all upset about, mathematics in school. From what I have read, many of our schools have caved to pressure of “experts” and are now teaching advanced algebra and geometry starting way down in the elementary grades. After all, scientist who have studied the brain and learning for years do not know as much about children learning as scientist who are now writing books and need some sales to boost their theory. Nevermind what those early childhood theorist and tenured childhood teachers say, a person with a PhD in mathematics knows more about children’s brains than those people. To think the brain grows by stages as does the rest of the body is too old fashioned. A long editorial in the Tulsa World told us that everybody needs algebra. I hung my head in shame as I had a long (and I hope, productive) career and didn’t need algebra.
But getting back to the weather and the strangeness of it this year. In February of this year I worked outside in a T-shirt and cargo shorts. I was also able to wear that type costume inside on more than one day. Now i do not want to disparage anyone who tells me (and the world), “I am not a scientist but the Earth is not getting warmer.” Perhaps those who are not scientists should do as the mathematics experts should do and listen to those who actually know of what they speak.
OK, OK, you are correct, that would take all the fun out of arguing. If politicians actually had to know what they were saying before they said it, it may be so boring for the rest of us that some of us would begin to trust them. That would make election cycles so educational we would all have to learn some facts and as a true U.S. American, I am just not going to learn facts so I can talk about some esoteric subject. That would not be any fun.
As a government, we should send several people who know about climate change to the Arctic to tell those Polar bears they are not in trouble. The ice cap is not melting and the bears should just shut up. After all, U.S. Senators know more than Polar bears anyway. Oh, and while we are at it, we could leave them up there until they had convinced all the bears of these facts. Yes, I know it may take awhile, but we have time and we can wait down here. Then we could send them to the Antarctic to yell at those noisy penguins who are complaining. Our Senators could just tell them to “Shut Up!” They are about as noisy as some of the groups who have made signs and picketed for better science. Silly people. When they do the right thing and contribute millions to the Senator’s campaign, then we will listen. That’s the American way.
So now we have it all settled. Teachers are going to be allowed to teach. Real scientists are going to be in charge of science. Politicians will seek real experts before speechifying about topics they do not know or understand. And as soon as someone releases me from this room which has rubber walls, I have some more proposals.